In life, friends come and go. They're there for a season, a moment in time and then life takes them somewhere else. That has been my experience growing up. I've had the luxury of having many friendships in my life, but, It wasn't until recently, I learn about spiritual friendships.
I remember how influential my friends were when it came to partying and drinking. I was always working hard, so naturally, when I partied, I partied hard. There was always one or two that would tell me to slow down. And looking back at those moments I realized a learned, a good friend is a treasured blessing.
Fast-forwarding to 2019, when I accepted Christ in my life, I knew I needed to change my circle of friends. I knew I needed to cultivate spiritual friendships. Saying goodbye to old friends wasn't easy, but it was necessary for spiritual growth. And searching for spiritual friends wasn't something done overnight. Yet still, the Lord guided me in the process.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself...’” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
A spiritual friendship will move us past the small talk and short answers, and into deeper connection. A deeper commitment to God. It's good to get past the front door, into the living room, and share laughs as much as we share hopes and struggles. In a world pandemic, this has become impossible. At least with our own eyes. Matthews 19:26 reminds us “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible".
"I'm always amazed at how God makes the impossible, possible."
In the middle of this COVID-19, through modern-day technology. I've seen how friendships are being formed or are even growing deeper. And that's awesome because God didn't create us to do life alone. He put us in communion. Spiritual good friends won’t just happen. First, we have to BE the kind of friend we want to have. ( Read my last post "HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT" to learn a little more about me.) I went through a whole entire process to be the friend, I am today.
Below is a list of what makes a good spiritual friendship:
A real friend shares the same belief. With God at the center, friends have a lot more in common. Friendships will grow deepest when friends share the same beliefs and want the same things out of life. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
A real friend sticks around. A real friend will walk with us, even through the tough times. They won't only laugh with us in morning sunrise but stand with us in a midnight storm. Or Give you an umbrella and a flashlight. Walking through the tough times won’t kill the friendship; it will deepen it. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend is made for adversity.”
A real friend respects privacy. This is so important. I don't tell everyone everything. (And if I do you're that special.) I need to know you won't go giving everyone everything. That when I, vulnerably share our struggles and our mess-ups, it won’t be used against me. Proverbs 16:28 “…a gossip separates close friends.”
A real friend can say hard things. Remember what I said earlier about parting hard and having a friend tell me to slow down. Though I don't drink or party anymore, I still appreciate that friendship, because he was concerned. Once I became sober he had a heart to heart conversation with me. Proverbs 27:6 “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
A real friend will just be there. I love fixing things, but I know I can’t fix everything. I can be there to listen, love, and most importantly, pray. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one... .if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
While there's a lot more that can be said about spiritual friendships. I don't want to bore you so I'll leave you with these 5.
I Praise God He’s given me some good friends to do life with. And recently He's matched me with an incredible young lady. I'm looking forward to laughs, cries, struggles, rejoicing, and praying together, as God takes centerfold in our relationship.